Where to go from here
I'm opening the refrigerator after a long day, about to start cooking dinner, and a pure feeling sneaks up suddenly in my heart: "Ahh... I just wish for calm." And a startling connection to this man, to his own single-minded pursuit of calm. All this while experiencing a deep respect for his human experience and an exquisite expansiveness into love. It's as if I'm hearing him mention the idea for the first time, and responding from a deep wordless place within me.
This experience comes up again and again as I mentally connect with various aspects of his perspective. It's rather romantic. I feel like I'm walking around in his shoes, exercising courage and exhilaration and exploring humility. I also feel the distance between us and I'm not sure if I can face what it means.
Buying time, just living in the world of art-making; and celebrating love and experiences of the past. Trying to make something there that isn't.